It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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