my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
