Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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