I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
