I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
