Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
