i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
