matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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