Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Sorry about my life...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
