i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
