I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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