I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
