We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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