Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
