and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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