capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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