i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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