Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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