Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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