belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
