She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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