We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
