He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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