You're my little dorito
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
