Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
