I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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