1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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