Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
