we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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