i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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