I'm really into asian looking animals
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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