whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I could fuck to npr.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
