i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
