Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i think my cat just said my name.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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