my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
