I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
