so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
