Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do vagina's smell?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
