It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
fuck your aforementioned shoe
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
