Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
