Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
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