I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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