i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
