It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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