So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
