Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
