It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
