either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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