I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
drinking out of a sandbucket again
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
