3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
