he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
