Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
