found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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