idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
