google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
